Help! I Don’t Like My SO’s Friends

Just because you like your partner doesn’t always mean you will like their friends. But allow us to give you some advice: It’s easier to get along with your SO’s friends than to dismiss them. The last thing you want is resentment or constant arguing. Here are some tips for alleviating some “I don’t like my partner’s friends” stress.

No-No to Ultimatums

You know the whole “It’s them or me” route? Yeah, don’t do it. A relationship ultimatum is never a good idea. Plus, if they choose you, they are essentially abandoning their entire support system. It can backfire one day, and you likely won’t be ready for the repercussions.

Find Common Ground

First impressions aren’t everything, so try not to let one encounter be the deciding factor. Instead, give your SO’s friends a second or third (or fourth) chance and try to find some common ground. Ask questions about their hobbies, passions, and goals. Somewhere along the line, you’ll find something to talk about.

Avoid Gossiping

Gossiping or talking about people behind their backs is never okay. If you’re having a problem with someone in your SO’s life, bring it to the table. Openness and honesty are always the best policies.

Encourage Your SO to Spend Time With Friends

We know you may not particularly like your partner’s friends, and that’s fine. No one is forcing you to hang out with them. You can decline the house party invite while encouraging your significant other to go without you. You don’t have to do everything together! Plus, it’s important that you each have one-on-one time with your friends. Side note: If your SO’s friends are influencing them to do illegal or immoral things, that’s a totally different story.

Be Open if You’re Worried About Toxicity

Remember that “totally different story” we mentioned? There’s no logical reason for your SO to keep toxic friends around. If their friend makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, don’t feel ashamed to bring the problem forward immediately and make it clear that you will not be around that person. If you have a solid partner, they’ll understand your POV.

How have you dealt with not liking your SO’s friends? Share your experiences with us in the comments below!

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