Many people want to achieve deep intimacy in a romantic relationship and become truly close to their partner. They want to connect physically, mentally and emotionally. But they also need to know how to set the stage for a fulfilled relationship. And like most aspects of being in a relationship, it’s something people in relationships are going to have to work on constantly.
Don’t Forget to Ask
It would be wonderful if a romantic partner could read your mind and thus know how to fulfill your every need. Unfortunately, that won’t ever happen. Ever. Even after the two of you have gotten to know each other really well, even after many years, you can’t expect your partner to know exactly what you want when you want it, because people continue to grow and change.
If you want your partner to say or do something for you, ask them! Remind yourself regularly that your partner can’t read your mind. After communicating your thoughts and desires, give them the chance to fulfill your needs. If you tell them what you need and they don’t fulfill them, sit down and have another talk. It’s always better to get it out in the open than leaving it bottled up inside. If you say nothing and wait for them to figure out exactly what to do for you on their own, you’re likely going to frustrate and disappoint yourself.
While you’re being clear and open about your desires and your feelings, encourage your partner to do the same with you — and don’t attempt to guess before or during speaking. Trying to guess what they’re thinking or feeling spells disaster. The likelihood of you guessing something that they are thinking is low, so why not give them the chance to spell it out themselves? Encourage communication and openness to get to that level of intimacy and emotional fulfillment you crave.
Everyone loses their temper from time to time. Everyone says things they don’t really mean when they are frustrated. It’s important to try to maintain respect for your partner at all times, even at those times when you want to pull your hair out.
Always do your best to avoid name-calling, yelling and hurling insults (or physical objects). If you don’t want it said to you, don’t say it to them. Try to avoid potential triggers and phrases that you know just aren’t nice. No matter how close you two are or how angry you get, it’s important to always observe good manners and respect for each other. This can lead to a more trusting, fulfilling and enjoyable relationship.