A martyr is someone who sacrifices themselves in order to help or save something, someone or everyone. It comes across as noble and heroic in movies, but something sad actually happens to real life martyrs. Once you become a martyr, you’ve set yourself up for failure without realizing it. Usually, no one recovers from it.
Owner of Iwillteachyoutoberich.com, Ramit Sethi shed some light on the martyr mentatlity and how you can actually spot it happening everywhere. Here are some examples:
- Workaholics: They believe: “If I’m not working, it isn’t getting done.” “If I’m not hustling, someone else will beat me to it.”
- Parenting: They believe: “The kids have soccer.” “Clothes need folding and the house is a mess. Super mom to the rescue.”
- Unhealthy Relationship: They believe: “If I leave, he/she may fall a part.”
And, this list can go on and on. The martyr pattern keeps happening until eventually they’ve placed themselves into a position of powerlessness.
If you’ve recognized this pattern in yourself, here are 3 reasons to stop it:
#1 – Strips Your Happiness: Sethi states that any time you cannot be happy because of “X”, you’ve turned yourself into the martyr. You’ll never be happy because your happiness always depends on a particular circumstance.
#2 – You become closed minded: Even if you give someone with this mentality a work around to the problem, they still find a reason to sacrifice themselves and put themselves last. They become closed minded, because they can never see another solution to problems.
#3 – You hurt those you’re trying to help: Surprisingly, you end up hurting those you’re making the sacrifice for because they can never step into their own power as long as you’re always there to “save” them.
READ MORE: Stop Being a Martyr