Moving back in with the ‘rents? You are not alone. In fact, studies show that the number of adults in the United States who are moving home for one reason or another has jumped 87% over the last two decades. And let’s be honest, even under the best circumstances, this can prove to be an interesting transition. Here are a few tips and tricks to make sure your experience is a rewarding one. And to make sure nobody loses their mind.
Talk First, Pack Later
We can’t stress enough how important it is to have a conversation with your parents before you even decide this is a good idea. You should leave the conversation on the same page about financial expectations, visitors, duties, rules, privacy, and family obligations. Yes, this conversation may feel a little awkward and uncomfortable, but it will ensure a smooth transition with no questions. Our best advice is to set a date for the discussion, keep a running list of any questions you may have, and encourage your parents to do the same.
The Time to Downsize Is Now
It’s important to make your new space or room feel like you so that you’re comfortable, but remember that you’re moving into your parent’s home and come to terms with the fact you can’t take all of your things with you. You do have options though. If you’ve got furniture, appliances, dishes, etc. that you can easily part with, sell items you don’t need for a little extra cash. If you really love all of your things and in time hope to take them to your next home, consider renting a storage unit for safekeeping.
Create an Exit Plan
Sometimes this is more for your sanity than anything, but having an idea of what needs to happen before and after you’re ready to move back out gives you something to work toward and something to look forward to.
Be the Adult, Not the Child
Parents naturally parent and children naturally let them no matter how old you are. If you want to be treated like an adult once you’re under your parent’s roof, it’s important to act like one. This means doing your own laundry, cooking some of the meals, washing dishes, keeping your space clean, helping out around the house, etc., without being told.
Be Kind to Yourself
Moving home does not mean you are behind in life or that you are failing in any way. Adjust your mind to instead realize that you get to start over, you get to surround yourself with the familiar, and you get to put yourself back on track to achieve the things you want to achieve. Be kind to yourself and prioritize your mental health during this transitional time.
Show Off Your Progress
Parents will almost always have certain expectations for you because they’re your parents after all and they want you to be happy and successful. If you’re partying at night and sleeping during the day (or anything that involves not bettering yourself and your situation!) Remember, slow progress is still progress so keep a little notebook of all your victories to share your progress with your parents and to remind yourself how far you’ve come.
Pay Attention to Your Mental Health
Moving back in with your parents can be tough, so make sure that your mental health is extremely high on your list of priorities. Keep in mind this is temporary and rest when you need to. Make sure you’re spending time outside of the house, establish boundaries early on, maintain your usual schedule, practice self-care, and handle any arguments with maturity.
Boundaries Will Be Necessary
Sharing space can be tough so be clear with your boundaries and make sure to thank your family for the mutual respect. This is a really important topic to discuss before you even move in. If your family isn’t willing to respect your boundaries or vice versa, other options may need to be considered.
Disagree Like an Adult
Parents can come across as harsh, nosey, and sometimes overbearing. If you experience this, don’t get mad, and don’t get loud. In fact, during this time it’s important to stick to some key phrases like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I appreciate you telling me” or “Let’s talk about it and work it out.” This will keep situations calm and open the door for everyone to move forward together.
Hang Time
Make sure to carve out some time for your parents. They’re doing you a solid and one day you’ll look back and you’ll be really happy you got a little extra quality time with them.