You’ve probably heard of the honeymoon phase: the early part of a relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. Since this period – which can last typically from six months up to two years – is accompanied by emotional highs, relationships that last beyond it can start to feel…long. It’s normal for your relationship to seem a bit dull from time to time, especially compared to how it felt at first. When you hit this bump, all is not lost. Here are some ideas for bringing back that excitement.
Ask New Questions
Whether it’s been two or 10 years, you can never know everything about anyone. So if your relationship feels like old news, try reframing your partner in a new or different light. Discovering forgotten interests or sharing favorite memories can bring you back together and introduce new topics of conversation. If you need help thinking of questions to ask, there are plenty of apps to help out – like Paired or the Gottman Card Decks App.
Plan Something Exciting
We’ve already mentioned that boredom with your routine can bleed into your relationships. Couples can combat this by planning things to look forward to. Making a reservation at your favorite restaurant, buying tickets to a concert or a game, or planning a vacation might make all the difference. When couples anticipate and partake in exciting events together, their relationships are more exciting, too.
Reflect on the Start
Why were you drawn to your partner when you first met? Reflecting on your relationship and pinpointing those reasons may give you insight into how to fix boredom down the road. Maybe you initially connected over music that you’ve since stopped listening to. If possible, re-create your best moments to feel nostalgic and bond again.
Prioritize Date Night
Couples who don’t have time to nurture their bond can face trouble more often. The one-on-one time and purposeful attention involved with a date night can help partners feel valued and prioritized. Date nights with an added element of surprise can be even more effective! Ask your partner to plan something, then just go along with it.
Take Care of Yourself
Boredom in your relationship isn’t always about the relationship itself. When you feel bored with your regular routines, it can be hard to fully engage in your relationships. Taking care of yourself by making time for reflection, self-care, and personal goal achievement can become keys to happiness and finding clarity about your relationship. Look inward to identify possible sources of your issues and allow yourself to work toward healing and growth. Once you’re excited about life again, you might rediscover the relationship you’ve been missing.