Unfortunately for parents and caregivers, tantrums are part of a child’s development. Children react to the world around them with big emotions, especially when they don’t have the words to communicate what they are feeling in their bodies. In this article, we’ll explore some tips for dealing with tantrums.
What Is a Tantrum?
A tantrum occurs when a child becomes overwhelmed with big feelings – fear, frustration, disappointment, anger, hunger, sickness, overstimulation, and exhaustion – and loses control over their emotions and behaviors.
Preventing Temper Tantrums
Emotions are natural responses our bodies produce to help us feel safe, comfortable, and secure. So, while complete prevention of temper tantrums may not be achievable, recognizing and managing their triggers can reduce their prevalence and intensity. Some examples of common triggers are hunger, tiredness, and overstimulation. Another effective way to help prevent tantrums is by giving feelings a name and modeling feeling statements, like “I am angry because ___.”
Coping with Toddler Tantrums
Below are tips for dealing with tantrums.
What Helps
When your child has a tantrum, it is essential to stay calm. Modeling the calm behavior you want the child to display is the best starting point. Validate the child’s emotions by saying, “I can see you’re upset.” If they let you hold them, touch can be very comforting. If they are sensory avoidant, stay close so they know they are secure.
What Not to Do
During a tantrum, avoid trying to reason with the child. Don’t ignore them, punish them, threaten to leave, or laugh at them. This can only escalate the child and make them more upset. Instead, reassure them, remind them that it is normal to become upset, that you are there for them, and that you love them.
After the Tantrum
Once the child and you are calm, talk to them and try to determine the root cause, addressing it appropriately. It isn’t about giving in to demands, but learning to problem-solve together. Help them identify these underlying feelings so they better understand their emotional landscape, and learn how to feel better faster the next time it happens.