Jealousy is universal. At one point or another, you’ll have feelings of jealousy towards someone or something, and, at face value, it seems uncontrollable. However, jealousy can be consciously stopped in its tracks through the prioritization of the self. So how does one prioritize happiness over pettiness? Here are a few pointers.
Ditch the Comparisons
Drawing comparisons from yourself to anyone else is always a recipe for disaster. The phrase “it’s always greener on the other side,” is clichéd for a reason: we’ve all felt that longing at one point or another. It’s a good thing to constantly be striving towards something better, but simply wanting what someone else has is petty and, frankly, you don’t have time for that type of negativity.
So when jealousy is lurking around the corner, don’t compare yourself, your life or your belongings to anyone else’s and simply look at the situation as is: totally separate from your own.
Rely on Logic
Jealousy has a habit of clouding logic. So, to combat jealousy, rely on that logic. When we’re feeling envious of something someone else has, we don’t think logically about the trajectory of our personal situation.
Jealousy takes all shapes and forms, but at the heart of the issue is a truth that you need to listen to. If you’re jealous of your boyfriend’s female friend, dig to the bottom of that issue and find out why. More often than not, it’s a personal jealousy that stems much deeper. So, think logically about why you’re jealous, and you can do your best to fix what the actual problem is.
Transform Envy into Desire
When all else fails, take that envy you’re feeling and transform it into an achievable goal. It’s totally normal to see an Instagram post of a friend on a beach vacation and to long for a similar vacation of your own. Rather than moping about what they have, turn their vacation into your own, personal goal.
You’ll find it’s fairly simple to transform a feeling of jealousy into something achievable for yourself, and once you realize that, you won’t even have time for the lowly feeling because you will be working towards the things you personally want.
Consciously Become a Cheerleader
Sometimes, the things we are jealous of are outside of anyone’s control. For instance, we may find ourselves jealous of another person’s looks, whether that be body type, hair, face, etc.
This feeling of insufficiency should therefore be laid to rest, forever. There is always something about ourselves that we’d like to change, but the moment we accept ourselves for exactly who we are is the moment we can consciously become a cheerleader of others and their successes. Recognize we’re all different and celebrate those differences rather than longing for what you don’t have.
Make Strives for Yourself
This all leads us to the final point: focus on yourself. Your jealousy begins and ends with you, which means you are in total control of it. Note your feelings of jealousy and take those opportunities to learn more about yourself and what you want.
Sometimes, jealousy will tell you that you’re lacking trust in your relationships. Sometimes, it will tell you that you want more out of your career. Sometimes, it will pinpoint aspects of your physical appearance that you need to accept and love, or work on and improve. Sometimes, it simply helps you select your next vacation destination.
Whatever your jealousy is telling you, listen to it, and use it to make strives for yourself and your own, personal goals. Ditch the pettiness, turn jealousy into a positive and come out all the better for it.
Feeling jealous is human, but that’s not to say you should give in to the negativity. Instead, redirect that jealousy through the prioritization of your own happiness, and you’ll find that you’re rooting for others more than you’re rooting against them.