No, the idea of dating and then living happily ever after with your best friend isn’t just a plot in your favorite rom-com or romance novel, it can totally happen. But, if you’ve been there, done that, or are currently there and maybe considering it, then you’re probably very familiar with the worries, thoughts, and apprehensions that come with it. Let’s look at some things to consider, the pros and cons, and why dating your best friend might just be the best thing for you.
Things to Consider
The following should probably be considered before dating anyone, but because there could be more on the line when your best friend is involved, these key points deserve a little extra attention and thought.
Do You Have the Same Relationship Goals?
When considering this, it’s vital to be honest with yourself first so you can then be honest with your best friend. One of you might be ready for a committed relationship while the other may just be interested in a season of fun. There is no wrong answer here, you just want to make sure your goals align before you potentially move forward.
Talk About the Less Desirable Outcomes
This won’t be the most fun conversation, but it is something to consider. There is no point in sugarcoating it, you should absolutely talk about what a break-up might potentially look like for you and your friendship.
A Great Friendship Does Not Always Equal a Great Relationship
We totally get the logic, there’s this person in your life who allows you to just be you and they love you for it, you know their family, all of their deepest, darkest secrets, but unfortunately, sometimes two people are meant to be best friends and nothing more. And that’s okay.
There Will be Shifts in the Relationship That You’ll Have to Navigate Together
If you do decide to move forward, things will change, but change isn’t always a bad thing. You’ll simply have to navigate shifts in your relationship together as they happen.
An Amazing Friendship Is Fulfilling, Too
If the two of you ultimately decide that your friendship is simply too big of a risk, that’s okay. We need amazing friendships in our life and they can be just as fulfilling as other relationships, in different ways.
The Good and the Bad
A good old-fashioned list of pros and cons never hurt anybody. Let’s look at the heavy hitters.
Pros:
- You probably have some kind of history
- There’s a good chance you have at least a few mutual friends already
- You know how to communicate with each other
Cons:
- You could lose them as both a partner and a friend
- Dating a friend, especially a best friend, means you miss out on that whole “getting to know them” phase
- The dynamics of the friendship could change
Signs It Might Just Be Written in the Stars
Hear us out, if the following sounds familiar to you, it may be time to give this a shot.
You’ve Been Dumped Because of Them
At the time you might have thought that their partner was just jumping to conclusions, but now that you’re rethinking some things, and well, maybe they were on to something. If you’ve been dumped because you’re too close to your best friend, it may be a sign to take things a step further or at least start the conversation.
You’ve Thought About It, They’ve Thought About It
Maybe the timing was just never right or maybe neither of you said anything, but it’s very telling if both of you have been thinking about it. We aren’t saying this reason alone means you should jump into a relationship, we’re just saying that if you’ve both been thinking about it, it might be time to talk about where you both stand and what the future should look like.
Your Family Loves Them
Again, not a deal breaker either way, but when your family already knows them, knows what they’re about, and loves them? Well, the transition just got a whole lot easier.
You’ve Never Been Inclined to Set Them Up. Ever. With Anyone.
In fact, the idea has never even crossed your mind. No matter the size of your tribe, we know it’s full of people you love, and in your eyes, they’re perfect, but if you’ve never thought about setting your best friend up with anyone else ever, you may want to think about why.
They Just Get You
The beauty of falling for your best friend is that you already know they love you and accept you for everything you are, and there’s a good chance that they’ve seen you and helped you work through your lowest moments.