As women in the modern dating world, we receive a smorgasbord of dating advice. Typically, we take that advice with a grain of salt. Every once in a while, though, there is a piece of advice that stays with you, transcending every relationship you’re in. In the interest of women supporting women, these are the best pieces of relationship advice we swear by.
Pay attention to what they do over what they say.
You’ve likely heard this a number of ways, including “actions speak louder than words” or “talk is cheap,” but no matter the word choice, the message always rings true.
If you’re dating someone that tells you one thing, but does another, you should be paying attention to their actions over their words. It’s easy enough to say what you think someone wants to hear, but showing someone you care takes effort that uninterested individuals aren’t likely to invest. When you’re in a solid relationship, actions and words will align. When you’re in an imbalanced relationship, your partner may try to explain their inaction away. Don’t let them.
There’s a difference between effort and force.
Perhaps the older generations in your family instilled in you a mindset to never give up. You may have heard the phrases “fight for your relationship” or “relationships are hard work.”
While entirely true, there’s a fine distinction to be made here: there is a big difference between putting effort into a relationship and forcing a relationship to work.
All relationships take effort to remain healthy and happy. Relationships aren’t easy, and you will need to work to keep them healthy, but that doesn’t come at the cost of your personal happiness. Fighting for your relationship is only effective if you’re not compromising your own happiness in the process.
Without communication, there’s no relationship.
Communication is the key to a good relationship. It really is as simple as that.
This doesn’t mean that you have to have similar interests that you can talk about over dinner. Instead, this is to say that holding back information breeds a lack of trust and respect between partners. So rather than making a catty remark designed to jab at your partner, have an honest conversation with them about why you’re upset. There’s a huge benefit to removing anger from the equation and cooling off before having an open and honest discussion.
Always Move Forward
Last, but most importantly, you should never dwell on the past in your relationships.
To put it in the most simple terms possible: everybody makes mistakes. The severity of those mistakes will vary from person to person and relationship to relationship, but rehashing old arguments will only cause heartache.
Communicate in the moment, and once you’ve laid an issue to rest, leave it there. Don’t dig those arguments up when a new one arises. Progress is only possible when you’re looking forward; it’s hard to build a future when you’re only ever looking behind you.
Whether or not we choose to follow relationship advice is one thing, but when you’re given a nugget of wisdom that you find yourself applying without question, you’ve stumbled across something pretty great. These pieces of dating advice are tried and true clichés for a reason, and hopefully you’ll find yourself referring back to them as you continue on your relationship journey.