The truth is, relationships are hard, and they will all have their ups and downs. Even the most perfect feeling relationship will find themselves going through hard times. But in all relationships, do the hard times exceed the good times? The difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic one is that one will leave you feeling happy and respected, while the other will leave you feeling distraught and emotionally drained
What is a toxic relationship?
Some toxic relationship examples include – consistent conflict and desire to undermine the other, not supporting one another, competition in the relationship, and/or lack of respect for one another.
You and your partner can work through problems when there is:
- Willingness to work on the relationship
- Acceptance of responsibility
- Less blaming, more willingness to understand
- Open to outside help
Are you –
Feeling one sided effort
To have a healthy relationship, both people need to be invested in the relationship. Keep in mind that relationships shouldn’t always take more than they give. Just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that they are present and invested. When there is no effort in the relationship to spend time with you, love you, or support you, the relationship has become one sided.
Feeling drained all the time
If your relationship leaves you miserable, stressed, or emotionally drained, maybe it is time to think about whether it is good for you. Your happiness doesn’t depend upon another person, but you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel consistently unhappy either.
Lack of trust
The foundation of any healthy relationship is trust. If you and your partner cannot trust one other, it’s usually a downward slope.
It is natural and normal to feel jealous at one point or another. The problem comes when jealousy stops being innocent and becomes constant and irrational. Jealousy can become a tool for control in toxic relationships. Is your partner limiting your time with friends and family? Telling you who you can and cannot talk to? Monitoring your phone? That’s toxic.
Being in a relationship in which you and your partner are constantly angry at one another is unhealthy and draining. A relationship should be an emotional safe space, not a war zone.
When you are in a relationship, you and your partner are there to listen to, understand, and uplift each other rather than judge each other. When you are in a relationship with someone who judges your every move, it’s time to re-evaluate.
Keeping score against one another
As human beings, we grow and learn from the mistakes we make. The same goes for our relationships. There are going to be times when you and your partner make mistakes. If these mistakes are constantly thrown in your face by your partner, it’s hard to safe in your relationship. Relationships are about forgiving weaknesses and supporting strengths.
Physical or Verbal Abuse
Physical and verbal abuse are not okay in a relationship. Threats and insults can easily escalate to physical violence and no one should have to experience that in a relationship.
What to do about your toxic relationship:
The problem with toxic relationships is that they change who you are, and not for the better. These hostile, difficult relationships can force you to put up an emotional wall that shuts out not only your partner, but other loved ones as well. If you and your partner put effort into repairing and changing your relationship, but you always seem to fall into the same patterns, the best thing may be to leave. Being in a manipulative relationship can make it difficult to recognize the signs. Pay attention to the patterns, and know that you are a strong person who deserves respect.